| fresh start |

| thursday |

good morning!

Bright & Cold.

Today is a day for change.

I just feel it.

The first thing I did was read this:

grace&guts

This has been going on for far too long.

How long must we carry the weight of other people's shame

humiliation and shortcomings?

We are not the things that we were told we were.

...and yet, we play that record over & over in our heads

until we feel shamed and guilty and awful.

I should not overly think about the hurtful things

that people said and did.

After all, they don't have all of the knowledge of my past

and how I came to be in this place.

{and I would rather they did not either}

Moving on is just that.

All the things that I have wished for myself need for me

to take the wheel and proceed with.

No one is going to save me.

So yeah, forgiving myself is a great place to start.

And here is my point:

I am desperately trying to do this within the confines of the refined

way I was brought up.

I was taught that some things should be private, that tact and manners are

vastly more important than screaming foul language at folks.

I was taught that true strength is how you comport yourself in public

and that forgiveness is a healing salve for relationships.

I do not believe that we should all hang out our dirty laundry with

a carnival beacon upon it for all the world to gander at.

~ it is unseemly to me.

I choose to handle my growth in private and write about it here.

In reflection on the past year, I see the steps that needed to happen to

get to where I am now.

The first was recognizing there was an issue.

Second was setting new boundaries 

{ this was the hardest, saying , " I don't like the way you are treating me" was actually hard }

Third was re-focusing on my goals and action

{ like de-cluttering my home, office and life }

It became an outward extension of my internal healing.

Now, fresh, I can step back and fall into what naturally will come

to pass.

It has been a process.

 Grace is what has lead me to this healing place.

I am now looking forward.

As this blog evolves, I am fortunate to have the same amazing followers who have 

supported us through our ups and downs.

It was my Immune boosting soup that people kept asking for that

made me realize that people actually read this thing.

This, being my visual journal.

I have been so blessed to share life and hardships without judgement, loss

and pain with warmth and care and happy milestones with joy and fellowship.

You buoyed my positivity and never let me forget the Grace instilled in me.

I look forward to this next chapter of Theherbshed.

Thank you.

xxx ooo